Part One: Advice to Parents of a Newly Diagnosed Child with Autism.

This blog can be used as a tool for a variety of purposes. The one I have envisioned as a top priority is giving advice to parents of a newly diagnosed child with autism. My son has autism and I have made mistakes. I did a lot that was right for him and a great deal of the credit can go to my network of friends, family, and trusted experts.

Churches must understand that they can do so much for these families. Churches must abandon reactive patchwork responses and adopt a proactive response useing best practices. The number one best practice is to help the new parents. Offering advice and support early is the single most important thing you can do to help.

I have been part of the autism community for the past 15 years. I have had many roles such as teacher, facilitator, fitness instructor, ministry worker, mentor,  residential worker, and inclusion specialist. This has given me perspective. Watching my friends suffer and struggle through these initial months, making the same mistakes and finding ways to success burned these lessons into me. Helping my own son struggle to overcome his disability has made this a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week mission.

If you know any of these parents feel free to use this to help them.

 Important Points

1. Don't panic: Yes, you have just entered a world of great stress, pain, and confusion. Welcome to autism world. Don't panic. It is not hopeless. If you keep a cool head, hold on to those close to you, Pray often, and think clearly: you can have great success. Your enemies are delay, denial, and time. It is normal to freeze when this crisis hits you but you must move as quickly as possible.

2. Plan: Plan for your short game, middle game, and long game. Start with your short term strategy. There will be those who say there is nothing you can do. Ignore them, push them aside and shake the dust off your feet. Research and find out what you need to do. Then do it. Find out who you need to help you, then bring them on your team. Find out what money you need, then figure out how to budget for it. Ask those who have been through it already for advice. You should not have to re invent the wheel alone. Hurry up, this needs to be done yesterday.

3. Support System: If you are married your spouse is the number one member of your team. 85% percent of parents with kids with autism get divorced. Figure out how to stay among the married 15%. You need a Defeat Autism Now (DAN) doctor to achieve recovery and an Aplied Behavorial Analisis (ABA) therapist for optimal results. Make the right educational choices. Some schools will help your child and some will hurt your child. Very few public and private schools will be honest about their performance. Go to other parents to find out about the schools, doctors, therapists, and churches. Figure out what you need to do yourself in the areas that can't be addressed by others.


4. Lies and Deception: Understand that people will lie to you because the disability of your child represents gains in money, influence, and other incentives. Professionals and Institutions will lie to you to hide their own shortcomings. Don't waste time with your anger. Don't let this slow you down. It's part of the landscape. Find out who you can trust and/ or work with and move forward.


5. Geography: In short: Do your research and find the best place with the best support. It is important to understand that some states and localities offer lots of support and some offer little or nothing. If you are in Florida and can move, leave now. Kids with autism in Connecticut get most of their therapy and education at little or no cost to the parent. The quality of the product is much better. Minnesota, California, Arizona, and most other states are also known for good support. If you must stay in Florida there are ways to get what your child needs but prepare to be broke all the time. The poor and wealthy tend get or buy more services. Middle class people tend to go broke fast. Resourceful people can always find ways but it takes a lot of time and effort. In short: Do your research and find the best place with the best support.

6. Fight: Successful parents with kids with autism all share one dynamic. They fight. Stand up to any person, institution, or profession that stands in the way of helping your child. This is hard. Some of the professionals and institutions available to help don't like to be questioned or challenged. What ever happens you must show courage and fight for your child no matter what.

7. Pray: I have experienced miracles. There will be times when you can't continue to fight, research, network, learn, or whatever you need to do. There will be nothing left of you once you have given all. At that point pray to the Lord for the strength to stand up and do more. I ran out of me years ago. All I give now is through the grace of God. Pray early, pray often. Go to Him each time everything falls apart. Pray for miracles.

This is a sinopsis of many important things a parent of child newly diagnosed with autism must deal with. Feel free to ask about any of the aspects written about.

Peace and Love,

Andrew

john 14:27